moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
