You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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