we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
