only if we run a train.
done.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
