I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
