yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
