I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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