i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
