Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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