Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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