I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize