The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
