We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize