If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
