She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
