the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
