those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
