okay pat passed out under dana's car
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just forgot I was standing up.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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