How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My balls are so social today.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
