At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
