pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
