he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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