Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
