Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
