areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
