jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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