Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is her dick bigger than yours?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
