I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
