honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize