Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize