Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
