yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
