I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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