Non-Jews are for practice
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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