I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
