Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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