I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
