he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
