Plan B is the new Plan A
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
