I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
