Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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