Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
