I wish I could teleport
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
