Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize