Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
