We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
