What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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