I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
