Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize