I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
