My Higher Power is John Stamos
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
