I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize