You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
