Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
