I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
