i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
