how can u be prego again
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize