My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
