So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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