Pants 0. Shit 1.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
