i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
